These people epitomise all that is bad about computer-care.
- They read a book once, it had ‘Technical’ in the title.
- They read a website once, it had ‘Tweaks’ in the title.
- They fix their mom’s computer, installing realms of free anti-spyware software when doing so.
- They enable the windows firewall on a trusted lan, and install another firewall for good measure.
- They use the words ‘Anti-Virus’, ‘Anti-Spyware’ and ‘Firewall’ interchangeably.
- They say things like ‘fix it in the bios’.
- Their favourite piece of software is called ‘Super Extra Registry Clean Optimizer’ (order of adjectives varies).
- They know all about ‘l-eye-nux’: It’s fast, efficient, wonderful. Some day they know they’ll try it too.
- And they honestly believe, despite all evidence to the contrary, that defragmenting a computer hard disk fixes issues.
So, if you ever have a computer problem, and someone gives you some advice containing the word ‘defragment’, consider running away, very fast. God has a special level of hell reserved for these people, and you don’t want to be near them when he sends them there.
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