Posts Tagged humour

The Millimetre Crisis in Hoodwinked Kingdom

The Great Big Millimetre Crisis in Hoodwinked Kingdom. by Christopher Brooks

It came about that a whole kingdom was cast
over by a spell from a tiny sect in it’s territory
that from this day forth all “millimetres” belong and are
controlled in supply by their new “mm” bank.

This sect grew in power and found many clever
ways to manipulate and pervert the “mm” from
it’s genuine honest scientific function as a stable
medium of exchange.

The sect grew it’s influence by supporting
the Hocus Pokus University to research
the scarcity of “mm” theory and the
Spellmaker Press always published
the “Coping with limited “mm” stress”
reports. Read the rest of this entry »



The Defragmentation Brigade

These people epitomise all that is bad about computer-care.

  • They read a book once, it had ‘Technical’ in the title.
  • They read a website once, it had ‘Tweaks’ in the title.
  • They fix their mom’s computer, installing realms of free anti-spyware software when doing so.
  • They enable the windows firewall on a trusted lan, and install another firewall for good measure.
  • They use the words ‘Anti-Virus’, ‘Anti-Spyware’ and ‘Firewall’ interchangeably.
  • They say things like ‘fix it in the bios’.
  • Their favourite piece of software is called ‘Super Extra Registry Clean Optimizer’ (order of adjectives varies).
  • They know all about ‘l-eye-nux': It’s fast, efficient, wonderful.  Some day they know they’ll try it too.
  • And they honestly believe, despite all evidence to the contrary, that defragmenting a computer hard disk fixes issues.

So, if you ever have a computer problem, and someone gives you some advice containing the word ‘defragment’, consider running away, very fast.  God has a special level of hell reserved for these people, and you don’t want to be near them when he sends them there.

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Fight for Kisses

This is from a new (-ish) Wilkinson Sword advertising campaign, and imho it’s pure genius.

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